Are you a white house staffer carrying a heavy stack of top secret documents? Do you desperately need both hands to vape or to text roger stone a progress report? Try DOCDASH!
Just request a docdasher in app and a helpful person like Yvegeny, Dmitri or Boris will show up to the white house on a motorcycle, take your documents from you, not copy and transmit them, and just keep them very safe, like tippy top safe.
“I’m gonna tell my dad!”
Turn phone upside down until sandwich fall out. Eat it up. Yum.
Prices will continue to steadily rise until morale improves
Put all of Larry into a room with Luigi
Remember that if you can see something that obvious, imagine all the quiet changes people are making that aren’t being immediately found. Not only the deliberate horseshit from musk and his facsy tots, but other attempts to distort data from traditional bad actors like China and Russia
Good point
A savvy consumer, glad you mentioned. Felt better than hitting it on the nose.
Sure, the app that nailed this might separate itself as the popular option for zeitgeist to grab onto, but then it distributes users to many servers (as the app itself is an aggregator that’s agnostic to server. But yes, rush of that single app becoming “Lemmy” in many people’s minds.
But you likely need to treat migration and understanding nuance of the tech as two different user journeys. Rather than solving problem though, likely better to stop and ask why we even want more users (if we even do?).
Something something… Only phone number I remember is your mother’s phone number (Implying that is for when I’m calling her to arrange a session of sexual intercourse, that she willingly and enthusiastically participates in).
Corporations and politicians: “oh great news everyone… It worked. Time to kick off phase 2…”
Next up is Tim apple announcing his conversion therapy was successful and that he will now be marrying a blonde fox news anchor on the white house lawn. He’ll then run for Lindsey Graham’s senate seat and carry on the tradition of being the most closeted man in the Senate… And the world.
When Lindsey Graham was asked who his first lady would be should he ever win the presidency, he replied… “My sister”.
Just can’t take those swinging bachelors off the market… one at a time ladies.
I have a post early on Lemmy, around the migration, about how it felt like any morality and responsibility to objective fact over there left with our initially migrating group. The change is subtle, but it’s crazy how far you have to scroll into the comments now to find the buried correct answer that refutes the misinformation in the title or linked article.
Also, the “which movie is this for you?” Type posts have just saturated over there. As well as shit, obscure linked sources (e g. “Indiatrump.biz” “realzgovtruth.info” kind of shit), as sources of front page upvoted posts, seem so much more prevalent over there now.
Could have auto versus manual server choice. Can always maintain option for granular selection for those who want, but “normies” could walk into a quiz when migrating?
Top three things you used Reddit for? (List of maybe 10+ things, servers can maintain their feature list to empower this)
Do you like A) talking to everybody about days topics B) talking to a smaller group of like minded people
Do you like A) a MORE moderated space B) a LESS moderated space, realizing you may see more spam and controversy
And then calculates a server that meets needs, if multiple, then random number generator to assign a server from the filtered options. On user side, all they see is a quiz followed by a typical registration screen. This would help with distribution of users across niche servers, but feel lighter for user. They also would assume a more curated experience, regardless of where they end up. Servers could have to opt in to be fed users from search of they were afraid of impact on cost to maintain server.
The above likely aren’t the right questions, but this framework could be effective
Large corporate farmers maybe (you’ve provided no support to your claim). In my experience though (a decade in fine dining, with direct relationships to many market farmers) there are more small farmers without their heads up their asses. They understand how they are being fucked with water rights, climate change and no right to repair. While nobody is doing enough on these things currently, they recognize that trump is gasoline on the fire that disrupts their lives.
If anything, Venmo is a competitor of PayPal.
PayPal… owns Venmo?
Again, you are weird to spend energy defending semantics around this corporation… are you okay, bud? Temporarily embarrassed millionaire?
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Person who doesn’t exist: “…we will never be able to repay you, subscription emergency warning system”
CEO: “We are going to make sure that isn’t true. You’ll repay us and then some. Don’t worry.”"
Spontaneous combustion