The women I’m seeing has had a significant family issue about 2 months ago. I don’t know what happened, we hardly speak right now (though I’d love to more often again), and it’s all just got me anxious. I’d like to know what’s going on and be supportive to the issue, but idk what the issue is, nor do I think it’d be good to ask for answers on a very sensitive subject for her.

The best I can do is be here I guess? But I feel hurt by being closed out of the loop, and I feel like I’m being annoying by trying to engage her to keep some, any, type of communication happening. Most times I don’t hear from her.

Everything.

no real words, but sudden and anxious pointing at everything, waving hands around, and making "ahh"s and "uh"s like a really scared ass frustrated and anxious deaf kid trying to tell you that everything is very wrong

My provider switched my mood stabilizer a month or so ago, and it seems like I’m finally getting my moods under control. I’ve cleaned, cooked and started taking care of myself again. I was in a bit of a dark place for a few months, and it seems like I’ve emerged. I’m hopeful for once. Now I just need to lose the 10lbs that I put on during that time. CICO does work.

Edit: Scratch all of that hopeful bullshit. My mood swung so wildly in the other direction today. If I say any more it would be an invitation to my pathetic pity party.

I’m still puzzling out how I can empathise with myself the way I can empathise for others.

It’s not a sad thought, just something I don’t have a frame of reference for. Like not being able to imagine what it feels like to move a muscle I’ve never used before.

Pretty much… this

I’m doing great, how are you?

I feel scared to look at my self critically