Not as much as you think.

I never stated any high importance. I just said it matters.

I think it’s crazy that I just state it matters, which is undeniably true, and it instantly prompts a rant about body dysmorphia, porn, facism, toxic masculinity, and reshaping society. Like, bro…

I mean, let’s not pretend there isn’t an aesthetic factor that women do care about

GenZ is overwhelmingly sex negative. I think that the movement for sexual liberation of women works to bring GenZ women back to baseline (or above) while GenZ men remain very sexually repressed. Just a theory, but it seems true in my life. I live in an American city fwiw

I really don’t think making this about incels makes sense and I’ll demonstrate why:

Woman calls me unfuckable -> I’m an incel

I call a woman unfuckable -> I’m an incel

There’s little logical consistency around the topic and it’s kind of just become a loophole to cancel morality when it comes to attacking men. I’m really careful with my wording to avoid triggering this response because if I do, people stop processing what I’m saying and they start dogpiling.

I mean, I’ve been pretty clear… and nobody else is having trouble understanding what I’m trying to say. is it possible that on some level you kind of like, don’t want to understand?

my entire point is that generalizations are harmful lmao

I don’t really think things are actually the way you suppose they are. I think that’s a cultural model that’s been built up by media. It may have been true at one point but from what I can tell based on my experiences in real life, it seems to be more the inverse nowadays. All my male friends seem to be much more choosy with who they sleep with (preferring a real connection) while my female friends seem to be a lot more outgoing and likely to have sex without a connection. I’m talking about a sample size of about 20 people I’ve hung out with in the past year, but I’m also considering people I knew when I was highschool / college age.

I think you’re not really getting what I’m saying. See my other comment:

It’s not about that. It’s their choice of insult. Saying “people who voted for Trump are retarded” doesn’t make it not ableist just because you specified it’s about Trump voters. Catch my drift?

Equating moral corruption to sexual undesirability is just stupid. It implies the inverse too, that sexually undesirable people are morally corrupt, which is actually a pretty huge problem in society. It also implies that men need validation from women which is just false.

It’s not about that. It’s their choice of insult. Saying “people who voted for Trump are retarded” doesn’t make it not ableist just because you specified it’s about Trump voters. Catch my drift?

idk I really don’t think it takes that much thought, we don’t need to be so sensitive to the nuance when it’s so easy to just not use language maliciously

yeah but this post isn’t about incels. posts like these shoot strays at all men

Use woman when you need a noun, use female when you need an adjective. It’s that easy

I think it’s as weird and antisocial as the next guy to call women “females” but I also think it’s weird that it’s treated like not receiving approval from women is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man when implying that women need male approval is obviously sexist

If you want, send me a pic (privately) and I’ll tell you if it’s really over or what you can do to look better. As for friends, that’s more complicated, but I got all my friends by talking to strangers in public.

Most men can drastically improve their appearance with some effort. Best plan for this is to ask your closest female friends what you can do. Also, having an attractive personality counts for a lot (potentially more than looks depending on the woman) assuming you aren’t fuck ugly.

If you don’t have time for friends you definitely don’t have time for dating.

Yeah, I’m autistic so reading behavioral cues more or less doesn’t work for me. It’s not impossible but my error rate is significantly higher than most people’s. I just focus on being friendly and honest. I always take an opportunity to be introduced to someone. I always take an opportunity to become closer to someone if they want that. I also focus on being pretty (I only attract bisexual women, lol)

In my perception, approaching women like the days of old (pre social media) is dead as a concept. There are two ways forward: women become more explicit about when they want to be approached, or they themselves do the approaching. It seems to me that the latter is the path they’ve chosen. Every woman I’ve ever dated has come to me and made it clear they want me in that way. Is this a good solution? Probably not. More people are single than ever but that is caused by a lot of factors, not just this social change.

women ought to have a signal that they are open to being approached, like a PvP flag or something

meeting women is really easy if you’re friends with women. they always have single friends who they’d be happy to introduce you to. obviously don’t be friends with women just for this purpose though

I agree that physical intimacy can make people become closer, but I’m not always sure that’s for the best. I think it’s better kept as something to enjoy after a deeper bond has already formed. Anyway, I’m not asexual but I am somewhere on that spectrum, not sure where though. Also yeah… when my friends tell me about their tinder dates I can’t believe how transactional and almost algorithmic their date sounds. It’s such a shame that it’s the norm now.