• ByteJunk@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      FOX News Special Report: Alderaan Destroyed—Emperor Trump Responds to Rebel Threat

      In a decisive move aimed at quelling a growing rebellion, the Empire today confirmed the destruction of the planet Alderaan, a Core World long suspected of harboring anti-government extremists. The response, authorized under the leadership of Emperor Donald J. Trump, marks what Imperial officials are calling a “necessary and proportionate show of strength” in the face of escalating terrorist threats.

      White House equivalent officials aboard the Galactic Capitol Starcruiser said Alderaan’s destruction via the Empire’s new defensive installation—the Death Star—was “not taken lightly.” Grand Moff Tarkin, speaking on behalf of Emperor Trump, called Alderaan “a hub of insurgent activity, fake news proliferation, and anti-Imperial propaganda.”

      “Alderaan was warned. The Rebels were warned. And yet, they chose to test us,” Tarkin stated. “Thanks to Emperor Trump’s bold leadership, peace and order are being restored to the galaxy.”

      Conservative Reaction Praises Trump’s Resolve

      Imperial Senate Republicans, though now largely ceremonial under Trump’s streamlined executive rule, praised the move. “This shows the galaxy that lawlessness will not stand,” said former Senator Gorran Vale (R-Corellia). “Under Emperor Trump, we are no longer appeasing anarchists. We are protecting hard-working star citizens.”

      FOX News political analyst Kayla Deen noted, “For years, Alderaan’s elites flaunted their liberal values, resisted Imperial policies, and even funded Rebel operations. Emperor Trump promised to bring law and order back to the galaxy, and today, he delivered.”

      Democrats and Alien-Sympathizers Decry Action

      Predictably, fringe left-wing groups and alien rights activists across the Outer Rim immediately condemned the action. The Rebellion, officially labeled a terrorist organization by the Empire, issued an unverified statement claiming Alderaan was a peaceful planet with no weapons. Experts at the Trump Imperial Policy Institute dismissed the claims as “Rebel disinformation.”

      Former Senator Mon Mothma, now in hiding, accused the Empire of “committing genocide.” In response, White House Comms Officer Jerrek Dalton told FOX News, “She’s been on the wrong side of history for years. This is about security, not politics.”

      A Stronger, Safer Galaxy

      Imperial markets responded positively to the display of power, with starship stocks rising 4.3% in late Coruscant trading. Citizens across the Mid Rim reportedly welcomed the message of order. One citizen on Naboo, speaking anonymously, said, “It’s about time someone stood up to these entitled planets that think they’re above the law.”

      While critics continue to push back, Emperor Trump remains unfazed. In a brief holonet transmission, he declared, “We are making the Empire great again. One rebel world at a time.”

      Stay tuned to FOX Galactic News for continuing fair and balanced coverage of the Rebellion, Imperial security, and Emperor Trump’s efforts to restore greatness to the galaxy

      • cyphear@lemm.ee
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        17 hours ago

        Imagine how many civilians were on the Death Star. Do you really think the maintenance personnel were Stormtroopers? Or the accountants who had to figure out how many credits the private contractors needed to receive? The rebels killed more innocent people than the empire did. Sure, the empire blew up a planet, but the untold amount of damage that the rebels caused to people who were just doing what they could to make a living.

        Look what happened after Palpatine was removed. Slavery became more rampant, the rich began controlling more planets, and there was no government to fill the void that was left. The empire held everything together, they got rid of those hypocrites on Coruscant, and brought about a cohesive government that focused on bringing together all planets and putting an end to the trade wars. To sum up: the empire did nothing wrong.