I don’t even really like the term hyperactive. I was diagnosed at 6. I was told I was hyperactive, that I couldn’t pay attention. But nothing about why I stimmed, nothing about why my emotional state was unstable and I had trouble properly managing my emotions. Nothing about executive dysfunction, time blindness, hyperfixation, over and under stimulation, or the ways ADHD impacted my ability to socialize. Everyone wants to chalk ADHD up to one thing. But it isn’t. My peers at school wouldnt bully me because of being hyperactive but rather because of my failure to understand the nuances of social rituals no one explained to me. They would bully me because I stimmed especially when I did so verbally. I didn’t even know those things were related to my ADHD. I genuinely just believed there was something fundamentally wrong about me that I could never fix. Once I stopped taking Ritalin in grade six because my mom decided I didn’t need it anymore, I started to just receive constant ableist abuse from everyone in my life. I was always made to feel that it was my fault I was this way, my personal fault that I couldn’t do group projects or get homework or projects done. I’d score poorly on everything I did in school despite being smart and capable of learning well on my own. This was always made out to be a personal failing of my own, and not a direct consequence of my untreated ADHD combined with a system wholly unsympathetic to my experience.
ADHD is so misunderstood by neurotypical people. It’s wild talking to women who haven’t been diagnosed and describe in vivid detail all the forms of ableist abuse they’ve suffered their entire lives. Incredible being able to recognize the commonalities in our stories. Society is incredibly punishing for neurodivergent people. It is only around other neurodivergent people that I really feel able to be myself, to this day. I have helped several women get diagnosed purely by recommendation after becoming close friends with them. It’s wild how it feels like neurodivergent people subconsciously recognize each other.
Once I stopped taking Ritalin in grade six because my mom decided I didn’t need it anymore, I started to just receive constant ableist abuse from everyone in my life. I was always made to feel that it was my fault I was this way, my personal fault that I couldn’t do group projects or get homework or projects done. I’d score poorly on everything I did in school despite being smart and capable of learning well on my own. This was always made out to be a personal failing of my own, and not a direct consequence of my untreated ADHD combined with a system wholly unsympathetic to my experience.
Perfectly summed up my experience. Parents took me off meds (straterra in my case) due to concerns about not eating enough, everything downhill from there for the exact same reasons.
Trying to get re-diagnosed as an adult (parents lost/shredded childhood records…) and got hit with a variation of “since you’re not trying, you must be happy as you are” from a psychologist that listed ADHD as a specialty…
Trying to get re-diagnosed as an adult (parents lost/shredded childhood records…) and got hit with a variation of “since you’re not trying, you must be happy as you are” from a psychologist that listed ADHD as a specialty…
There definitely seem to be this mentality of “if you made it this far, then it’s not serious” attitude to adult diagnoses.
I’d respond back that a person stuck walking on a narrow ledge seems fine, too. Nevermind that the slightest push could destroy everything. Nevermind that the wind can be pretty strong up there and it never seems to stop. Nevermind that the person may have only just now realized that not everybody lives their whole lives fighting to keep their balance, and that they actually can reach out for help.
Imagine if rescuers finally arrived and said, “They’ve made it this far. They must be fine,” and left. How heartless would that be considered?
I wish I were surprised to hear that a woman’s experiences were dismissed by medical professionals. Unfortunately, I understand it all too well. I’ve developed an annoying habit of explaining things that nobody asked about, in anticipation of being treated with mistrust. It’s yet another habit on the long list of things I have to be perpetually mindful of whenever I’m interacting with anybody (except my closest friends, who by and large are fellow ADHD/autists.)
I don’t even really like the term hyperactive. I was diagnosed at 6. I was told I was hyperactive, that I couldn’t pay attention. But nothing about why I stimmed, nothing about why my emotional state was unstable and I had trouble properly managing my emotions. Nothing about executive dysfunction, time blindness, hyperfixation, over and under stimulation, or the ways ADHD impacted my ability to socialize. Everyone wants to chalk ADHD up to one thing. But it isn’t. My peers at school wouldnt bully me because of being hyperactive but rather because of my failure to understand the nuances of social rituals no one explained to me. They would bully me because I stimmed especially when I did so verbally. I didn’t even know those things were related to my ADHD. I genuinely just believed there was something fundamentally wrong about me that I could never fix. Once I stopped taking Ritalin in grade six because my mom decided I didn’t need it anymore, I started to just receive constant ableist abuse from everyone in my life. I was always made to feel that it was my fault I was this way, my personal fault that I couldn’t do group projects or get homework or projects done. I’d score poorly on everything I did in school despite being smart and capable of learning well on my own. This was always made out to be a personal failing of my own, and not a direct consequence of my untreated ADHD combined with a system wholly unsympathetic to my experience.
ADHD is so misunderstood by neurotypical people. It’s wild talking to women who haven’t been diagnosed and describe in vivid detail all the forms of ableist abuse they’ve suffered their entire lives. Incredible being able to recognize the commonalities in our stories. Society is incredibly punishing for neurodivergent people. It is only around other neurodivergent people that I really feel able to be myself, to this day. I have helped several women get diagnosed purely by recommendation after becoming close friends with them. It’s wild how it feels like neurodivergent people subconsciously recognize each other.
Perfectly summed up my experience. Parents took me off meds (straterra in my case) due to concerns about not eating enough, everything downhill from there for the exact same reasons.
Trying to get re-diagnosed as an adult (parents lost/shredded childhood records…) and got hit with a variation of “since you’re not trying, you must be happy as you are” from a psychologist that listed ADHD as a specialty…
There definitely seem to be this mentality of “if you made it this far, then it’s not serious” attitude to adult diagnoses.
Thank you!! I could not for the life of me put into words the vibe i got from that appointment.
“You made it this far, you seem fine”
I’d respond back that a person stuck walking on a narrow ledge seems fine, too. Nevermind that the slightest push could destroy everything. Nevermind that the wind can be pretty strong up there and it never seems to stop. Nevermind that the person may have only just now realized that not everybody lives their whole lives fighting to keep their balance, and that they actually can reach out for help.
Imagine if rescuers finally arrived and said, “They’ve made it this far. They must be fine,” and left. How heartless would that be considered?
I wish I were surprised to hear that a woman’s experiences were dismissed by medical professionals. Unfortunately, I understand it all too well. I’ve developed an annoying habit of explaining things that nobody asked about, in anticipation of being treated with mistrust. It’s yet another habit on the long list of things I have to be perpetually mindful of whenever I’m interacting with anybody (except my closest friends, who by and large are fellow ADHD/autists.)